I live no where near the Twin Towers, the Pentagon or the field in Pennsylvania. 911 still had a lasting impact on me. I will never forget that day, the silence, the palpable sense of dread, urgency and helplessness, how alone I felt.
I was getting my young sons ready for school that morning watching NBC’s Today show when the story broke. I saw the second plane crash into the tower live, as it happened on television.
When the first plane crashed, I suspected terrorism. When the second plane crashed and I knew that this was a declaration of war. I was terrified.
I had sent my older son off to 1st grade but immediately regretted that decision. I had no idea what was going to happen next. I wanted my children near me, safe with me. I vacillated about sending my youngest to kindergarten but sent him anyway.
I watched the news, flipping between CNN and our local news stations, and watched, horrified as the Towers collapsed. Local news stations reported gas gouging, downtown being evacuated. I was concerned about my husband, as he was working downtown at the time.
So I called him, asking him if he knew what had happened, if he was all right, just needing someone to tell me that it would be OK. He was angry with me for calling him. He cut the call short.
There was a surreal silence in the air, the government ordered all planes grounded. I had gotten used to hearing planes fly overhead regularly. The silence was deafening, punctuating the gravity of the events that had taken place.
I became obsessed with the news, constantly watching and waiting for something worse to happen. Anthrax attacks, suggestions to buy duct tape, plastic, gas masks…it was terrifying.
Since then I have become much more politically aware, trying to form unbiased opinions and sorting out my personal beliefs. I have lost the complacency that had me believe that we, in America, are shielded from terrorism, war, economic disaster. I was horrified to see how much we are hated by some.
My hope for the future is that we eventually find common ground with our enemies that leads to peace for our generation and the ones to come.
